A Godly Father

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Family Needs From a Father</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I don't know if I have actually seen such a statue or if it is a creation of my own mind based on art I have seen. In any case, here is the image I want to share with you: a pioneer family is standing together facing the same direction. Their homespun clothes are worn from previous travels, their faces hardened by wind and sun but full of light as they expectantly view a distant place and time.</B></div> <div> <B>Father and mother are side by side, each leaning slightly toward the other. With one hand the man is pointing in the direction of their mutual gaze; with the other he supports the muzzle end of his flintlock rifle, the stock end resting between his feet. Over his shoulder he has flung the skin of an animal. Mother is holding a baby and several more children crowd around. The boy in front is holding in prominent view the family Bible.</B></div> <div> <B>It is a picture that exemplifies the spirit and strength of the pioneers who fanned out westward through this great land and made it what it is today. The values of another era can be seen in this portrait, values like family solidarity, risk-taking and religious faith.</B></div> <div> <B>For our present purposes the picture also teaches something of value for men. It quietly portrays some of the roles a father plays as the leader of his family. The extended pointing hand speaks of his giving direction; the Bible also suggests direction of a spiritual sort. The animal skin points to his role as provider for his loved ones. The rifle tells of his role of protector of the family and its domain.</B></div> <div> <B>Provision, protection and direction—these are the things every family needs from a father, whether a pioneer family of yesteryear or a suburban family of today. These are the callings God has placed before every man, and a man may test his manhood by how well he carries them out.</B></div> <div> <B>As we consider these roles we must keep in mind that God is our Father and as such he is the pattern we must follow if we are to succeed at fatherhood.</B></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Provision</B></div> <div> <B>"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" (Matt. 7:11)</B></div> <div> <B>God our Father is the source of every blessing we enjoy in this life and in eternity. "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights..." (Jas. 1:17) Even the rich blessings of salvation which are mediated through the Son and the Spirit come to us from the Father, the one whose plan was carried out at the cross.</B></div> <div> <B>Following the example of our heavenly Father, we must give good gifts to our family. In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus speaks of children asking their fathers for bread and fish and expecting the blessing of a meal (Matt. 7:9,10). As God provides for us, so a man ought to provide for his wife and children.</B></div> <div> <B>We must be careful as we consider each of these roles to remember that the human father only fulfills them in a derivative sense. God the Father remains the ultimate Provider (and Protector and Director); we copy his ways and become providers, protectors and directors in our God-given spheres, but only as channels of his blessings. Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain (Ps. 127:1); unless the Lord provides for my family, my work as provider will produce nothing.</B></div> <div> <B>A man's provision must be both physical and spiritual. In the realm of the physical it is his job to see that the family has what it needs to live and thrive. He sees that they have food, clothing and shelter.</B></div> <div> <B>This does not mean that we should embrace the stereotypical idea of the husband as "the breadwinner." That term has come to imply that it is his job to get out there in the world, earn some money and buy the things the family needs. Meanwhile, the wife (and children) sit at home essentially unemployed and gratefully receive his provision.</B></div> <div> <B>In the fully-functioning historical household (in contrast to our contemporary urbanized version wherein very little real work is required) the wife and children were very much employed in the tasks that provide for the family. They helped with planting and harvesting the garden; they canned food, cared for livestock, made clothing. In short, they were essential to the household economy and played a crucial role in the provision of its physical needs. However, it was the father's job to provide them with tools to use so that they could, through their work, help the family provide for itself. Everybody had a part to play, but he was responsible for the whole process. Also, because of his physical strength, he had the most physically demanding jobs, like breaking the soil and pulling the stumps, and thus served a role that could not be filled by his wife or children. He was the provider, but he had a lot of help.</B></div> <div> <B>Today, whether in an urban apartment or a rural homestead, men must embrace the role of physical provision for the family. The Mr. Mom household in which the woman works to support the family and the man runs the household and cares for the kids is a perversion of God's order. How is the man reflecting the Fatherhood of God by acting like a mother? No, it is his calling to provide. Better a family lives poorly on the father's lean wages than that the gifted wife supplant him in his role.</B></div> <div> <B>More important that physical provision is the father's responsibility to provide for his family spiritually. Without physical food his wife and children will die; but without spiritual food, they will die eternally.</B></div> <div> <B>He is the family shepherd. He is the one who must see that they are led to the green pastures and still waters of God's Word. He must lead the family in the worship of God. He must instruct them from the Bible. He must lead them in hiding the Scriptures in their hearts. This is his task both in scheduled family times and as he walks along the way with them. As a child may expect his father to give him bread, so he may expect this man to give him the bread of life as well.</B></div> <div> <B>One of the greatest tragedies in Christian homes today is the spiritual malnutrition of wives and children. When a person is starving physically we can see it in their gaunt faces and swollen bellies. If we were to put on our "spiritual glasses" we would see that the children in many a Christian man's home look like something off the pages of National Geographic—they are starving for spiritual food.</B></div> <div> <B>It is a God-like calling to provide for a family, and in a day that has emasculated men and denied them their proper roles we must return to notion that a man is a provider.</B></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Protection</B></div> <div> <B>"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." (Ps. 68:5)</B></div> <div> <B>God is a Defender. That is another expression of his Fatherhood. He protects those under his care, those in special need of protection. Indeed, the angel of the Lord encamps around all those who fear him and he rescues them (Ps. 34:7).</B></div> <div> <B>Since evil was introduced into this world there has been a need for protection. Evil is threatening and must be counteracted by righteous action. A failure of defense can mean the destruction of those who are vulnerable.</B></div> <div> <B>The man is the defender of his family. Again, we must emphasize that his role is derivative, that it is God's protection that is worked through his efforts; but a defender he must be. And once again, this role has both a physical and a spiritual dimension.</B></div> <div> <B>For most of us the days are past when we are called upon to bolt our loved ones in the cabin and face down that grizzly bear with our muzzleloader. Yet that urge to protect is still part of men who are in touch with their maleness and it must be carried out in ways appropriate to the modern condition.</B></div> <div> <B>In terms of physical protection the following examples come to mind. A father must determine where his family will live and if they are safe there from the attacks of evil men. He must see that his house is a safe place to live through careful maintenance. He must keep up the family car to protect his charges from the dangers of worn tires and leaking brakes. He must defend his home against intruders, with force if necessary. He must set limits for the children in play: how far can they go? how high can they climb?</B></div> <div> <B>He must keep a constant eye out for danger and take steps to defend his wife and children when necessary. The old cliché concerning a sinking ship, "Women and children first," appropriately expresses godly priorities. It is a man's job to pay any price necessary, including his own death, to defend women and children, especially his own household.</B></div> <div> <B>More subtle than physical dangers are the spiritual threats to a man's family. Scripture warns that the real battles for Christians are those that involve spiritual forces (Eph. 6:12). Many a man's family who live in physical safety are defenseless against some serious threats to their souls.</B></div> <div> <B>These threats come by means of evil influences which the man allows to act upon his home and its members. One such threat is that of evil companions, whether neighbor kids, school teachers and classmates, or even members of the extended family. Another is evil in the form of print or electronic media, including television and videos. As the family gatekeeper, it is Dad's job to decide who and what has access to his little flock and to bar exposure to that which could draw them away from the Lord.</B></div> <div> <B>As tragic as spiritually malnourished children is the spectacle of spiritually vulnerable children whose fathers leave them exposed to soul-destroying influences. Surely no man could stand idly by if his kids were being threatened by a hungry predator with a taste for human blood. How is it that so many Christian men can allow their children to be devoured by the offspring of that roaring lion, the devil? Christian children by the millions are slaughtered in public schools and secular universities by godless teachers and immoral peers, they are consumed by the deadly jaws of MTV and its kin on the tube, and their chastity is destroyed by the reckless and immoral institution of dating. Why are Christian children being left so vulnerable? Where are the fathers?!</B></div> <div> <B>Whether it is fixing a tire, buying a gun, prohibiting TV, or interviewing a daughter's prospective spouse, the many ways a man can protect his family are each a part of his calling to reflect the one who is our Defender.</B></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Leadership</B></div> <div> <B>"Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand." (Isaiah 64:8)</B></div> <div> <B>None of roles of a man in his home have suffered more at the hands of feminism than this one: the man is called to give direction to his wife and children. He is the family leader.</B></div> <div> <B>For a third time now let us emphasize that a human father only exercises his roles in a derivative way. God is the one who leads our families and gives us direction; but the father's responsibility, under God, is likewise to mold the life of the family unit and of the children in particular.</B></div> <div> <B>The idea that children are clay in a father's hands would be offensive to most modern ears. "After all, what about the child's dignity and independence?" we can almost hear someone ask. We should respond, in turn, What about the child's character and soul? What about the honor of the God who created the child and claims him for his own? Fathers have been placed in families to shape children for God.</B></div> <div> <B>The Lord commended Abraham ("father of many") and said of him: "For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him" (Gen. 18:19). The path of God's blessing on a family line is marked out by a father who is not afraid to "direct his children and his household" in the way of the Lord.</B></div> <div> <B>Modern families, Christian families included, lack men who are willing to stand up and point the way and expect the others to follow their direction. So most families flounder about like rudderless ships with no sense of overarching mission or purpose and no clear guidance for day to day life. In place of purpose they substitute frantic busyness, trying to mask their lack of direction with endless activities.</B></div> <div> <B>To be an effective family leader a father needs, first of all, to develop goals. He must decide what his goals are for his children's education, for their character development, for their financial situation when he releases them, for their future spouses. He must set goals for the running of his household year by year, week by week, and day by day. He is the one who is designed to stand before his family with his finger pointing out the direction they all need to go.</B></div> <div> <B>Secondly, a father needs to take initiative. Most men tend to be reactive rather than proactive. We will solve a problem if our wives set it in our laps. We should instead be the ones looking ahead for problems and planning what is best for the family welfare. A leader makes things happen, he doesn't wait for them to happen. Perhaps we should think of our family life as one big game of Follow the Leader, and we are the ones out front—except that it is no game, and the stakes are very high indeed.</B></div> <div> <B>Thirdly, to be an effective family leader, a father must accept the burden of making decisions. Taking responsibility is painful for most men, just as it was for our first father, Adam (who, you will recall, blamed his wife for his cowardly choice to disobey God). Making decisions he can be held accountable for may be distasteful to a father, but it is the essence of leadership. He is the one who must make decisions about education, friendships, dating, allowances, and a seemingly endless list of other major and minor issues that confront a family. And what he delegates to his wife will be his decision still (again, look at Adam and Eve).</B></div> <div> <B>Finally, a father needs to enlist the strengths of his family as he leads them. He is not supposed to be a tyrant, imposing his will without regard to others. Nor is he to be a one-man show, unilaterally dictating direction without counsel. A good husband-leader will draw out his wife's wisdom and mobilize her gifts as he makes his decisions; and as the children mature, he will do the same with them. Those who are led should enjoy the experience of being taken seriously as fellow-heirs of God's grace, even as they rest in the security of being directed by a wise and firm leader.</B></div> <div> <B>In all these roles which we men must master, we can do no better than to study the original Father, our loving leader, God himself. It is no coincidence that he is called "Father" and that he has placed fathers at the head of families. There are rich lessons to be learned as we look more closely into the character and actions of the one who made us like himself.</B></div> <div> <B>As we learn from him how to give our dear ones provision, protection and direction, perhaps we can be like that pioneer father: a powerful example of what fathers are meant to be.</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Sign up for Patriarch Magazine</B></div> <div> <B>Suggested Donation: $25* per year.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Patriarch </B></div> <div> <B>PO Box 50 </B></div> <div> <B>Willis, VA 24380</B></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://Patriarch.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://Patriarch.com"><U><B><U>http://Patriarch.com</U></B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="0d44d0c0.gif" border=0 width="589" height="12" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#0099FF" FACE="Papyrus" ><B>Back to Article Home Page- </B></FONT><A HREF="articles.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Offensive Articles"><U><B>Offensive Articles</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="0d44d0c0.gif" border=0 width="589" height="12" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>