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Hi and welcome to my
little collection of B-movie reviews. I'll be updating the pages quite a
bit over the next few months so be sure to stop in often. Anyone who watches
B-movies regularly knows that they are best viewed with a group and with
lots of beer. Ripping on B-movies is pretty much the fun part, ok the T
& A doesn't hurt either. Making fun of a B-Movie is a lot like picking
on a chess team, It may not be nice but it is fun and doesn't take a lot
of imagination.
I hope these reviews will be a guide for you when you are wandering through the video store looking for something to watch, since all the good movies have already been rented by someone else. OK by now you're thinking "enough of this B.S. Get on with it already" Here we go.
NOTICE: Quite a few people told me that they found the glowing headers in the reviews distracting. So I have removed them and changed them to something I thought looked cooler. Thank you very much for the input, I want everyone to enjoy my page. Please let me know if the text does not come up in a review. I'm currently dealing with a problem concerning older versions of netscape and want to be sure everyone can see what I'm writing.
E-MAIL THE CARNIVORE
NO SPAM PLEASE. IT JUST PISSES ME OFF.
View My Guestbook
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I hope these reviews will be a guide for you when you are wandering through the video store looking for something to watch, since all the good movies have already been rented by someone else. OK by now you're thinking "enough of this B.S. Get on with it already" Here we go.
NOTICE: Quite a few people told me that they found the glowing headers in the reviews distracting. So I have removed them and changed them to something I thought looked cooler. Thank you very much for the input, I want everyone to enjoy my page. Please let me know if the text does not come up in a review. I'm currently dealing with a problem concerning older versions of netscape and want to be sure everyone can see what I'm writing.
| BLEEDERS | Bloodsucking hermaphrodites attack a New England
Island. (Yummy) |
|
BRAIN DEAD
|
Bill Pullman loses his marbles. (The only thing
I'm sure of in this one) |
| DEAD ALIVE | Gore, love, gore, zombies, gore, motherhood & gore (Did I mention gore?) |
| DR
GIGGLES
|
Total Nut kills with medical tools. (Revenge like
a stethoscope is best cold) |
|
HIDEOUS!
|
Crazy rich people, a private dick and some weird
lookin' critters. |
|
LITTLE WITCHES
|
Naked Catholic boarding school girls try to raise a demon. (Cool idea) |
|
ORGY OF THE DEAD
|
Nude zombie a go-go! (60's sexual freedom running
rampant) |
|
RED BLOODED AMERICAN GIRL
|
Inventor of XTC tires to cure his vampire girlfriend.
(Honey that's my neck!) |
|
RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD
|
Zombies, 80's teenagers and a nuclear weapon. (Party with a BANG!) |
|
RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD PART II
|
More Zombies, More teenagers, but NO NUKES! NO NUKES! |
|
SCANNERS
|
Brings new meaning to the term "Blow your mind".
(Stop thinking dirty) |
|
STUDENT BODIES
|
A great slasher film parody. (CLICK) |
|
THE STUFF
|
A popular snack food goes on a rampage. (Killer
Cool Whip hee hee). |
|
TETSUO: THE IRON MAN
|
Um... Well... OK I'm still trying to figure this
one out. (Get your painkillers) |
|
THIS ISLAND EARTH
|
Both the Classic and the Mystery Science Theater
3000 versions. |
|
TICKS
|
Giant wood ticks attack Scott Evil and Carlton
(No Fresh Prince?) |
| THE TOXIC AVENGER | The film that put Troma on the map. (A true B-Movie
classic) |
|
TROLL
|
The landlord is gonna be pissed. (Ruined "Summertime
Blues" for me) |
|
TROMEO & JULIET
|
Shakespeare is turning in his grave. (Hooray
for Lesbians!) |
|
VERONICA 2030
|
It's like having Lt. Data with big boobs. (Edited
by Satan) |
|
YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN
|
THE definitive B-Movie Parody. (Abby someone? Abby
Who?) |
| ZOMBIE LAKE | How often do you see a nice Nazi Zombie? (Film
budget was $20.00) |
E-MAIL THE CARNIVORE
NO SPAM PLEASE. IT JUST PISSES ME OFF.
View My Guestbook
Sign My Guestbook
YOU-for visiting my page. (Please sign
my guest book so I'll know someone is looking at this stuff.)
My Wife Kelly, for marrying me & for being my grammar check on this page. Check out her Mr. Opporknockity page.
My Parents, for having me, and being supportive no matter how weird I got.
My Brother Paul, for letting me test out new material on him. and not saying this page sucks.
Bomber, for getting me started in the art of bad movie dissection. and maybe he'll write some reviews. hmmmmmmm.
Andrew @ Bad Movies.org for giving his help, advice and having great page to link to. Check out his page it's really funny.
Joel, Mike, Crow AND Servo, for teaching me how funny a bad movie can be. I miss MST3K bring it back!
Joe Bob, Svengoulie, USA up all night, and any other bad movie shows.
Lloyd Kaufman and the rest of the Troma Team, Sheer Genius.
Flaming Text , for the kick ass graphics on my page.
And Video stores with clearance racks , for the never-ending supply of cheap material. For 99 cents you can't go wrong
My Wife Kelly, for marrying me & for being my grammar check on this page. Check out her Mr. Opporknockity page.
My Parents, for having me, and being supportive no matter how weird I got.
My Brother Paul, for letting me test out new material on him. and not saying this page sucks.
Bomber, for getting me started in the art of bad movie dissection. and maybe he'll write some reviews. hmmmmmmm.
Andrew @ Bad Movies.org for giving his help, advice and having great page to link to. Check out his page it's really funny.
Joel, Mike, Crow AND Servo, for teaching me how funny a bad movie can be. I miss MST3K bring it back!
Joe Bob, Svengoulie, USA up all night, and any other bad movie shows.
Lloyd Kaufman and the rest of the Troma Team, Sheer Genius.
Flaming Text , for the kick ass graphics on my page.
And Video stores with clearance racks , for the never-ending supply of cheap material. For 99 cents you can't go wrong