HARDY-(Matthew Goldsby) Toby's sexually repressed boyfriend and one of the few people who listen to her.
THE BREATHER-(Richard Brando) Masturbating killer who uses a rubber chicken to disguise his voice.
PRINCIPAL PETERS-(Joe Talarowski) A mentally unstable administrator that keeps cheese in his pants.
DR. SIGMUND-(Carl Jacobs) A shrink that has a few mental problems of his own. Sometimes dresses backwards.
MR. DUMPKIN-(Joe Flood) A shop teacher with a unhealthy fetish for horse-head bookends. This man is scary.
MALVERT-(The Stick) A brain dead janitor that has the strangest body I've ever seen. Sometimes whizzes in trash a can.
THE DEAD TEENAGERS-Sexually active high school seniors who are killed by strange objects.

There are many more but these are the really important ones, and I don't feel like going through them all.

Before there was "Scary Movie", or "Scary Movie 2" there was "Student Bodies". I picked this one up at Amazon.com for $7.99. I first saw this film when I was around 7 or 8 years old. My brother had rented it and I didn't understand most of the jokes until much later. I ran across it on Amazon and felt compelled to refresh my memory on this demented movie.

First off, this movie is an intentionally bad parody of the late 70's and early 80's slasher films. The comic element reminds me of "The Kentucky Fried Movie" or "Airplane!". Lots of sight gags, fart jokes, and just plain silly behavior. Unfortunately there are no nude scenes in this one, lots of bra and panty stuff but some boobies would have really added to this film. There is a running body count all throughout the movie, whenever a character is knocked off a number flashes over his or her corpse. The body count winds up at 13 & 1/2 (The fly Toby swats counts as 1/2 apparently) The murder weapons are downright retarded: Paper clips, bookends, an eggplant, and trash bags are just a few. I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time explaining the story because it's pretty typical.

Teenagers are being murdered in pairs, a male and a female. Just before each murder the pair are about to have sex and the male leaves to take a shower or get a birth control device and so on. Once alone the female is killed in a bizarre way, and when the male comes back he is suffocated with a trash bag. The other thing linking all the murders is the fact that Toby, A moral traffic light, tries to talk each couple out of having sex right before each murder. Since Toby is now a suspect because she was either present at each murder or talked to the people right before everyone the only people who will even talk to her are Malvert and Hardy. After a not so complicated plan to clear her name and several thousand bad jokes later she winds up in a very strange plot twist ending and the real killer is revealed. This is one I'm not going to give away this is one you will have to see for yourself. The Stick (Malvert) should have a movie of his own. I'd spend $8 to watch this guy for two hours.

The body count left out one teenager who died when they were demonstrating how the trash bag thing works.

This movie has plot holes that you could send an aircraft carrier through (intentionally I'm sure).

I can't imagine why other movies haven't ripped off the "masturbating killer" idea.

I'm going to end this review by saying "CLICK". (You'll get that one after you see the movie.)