Concern # 3

Presence of Legalism

Even though the Ezzos openly reject legalism in parenting, they are often guilty of using this approach in many of their parenting applications. The following list defining legalism comes from the Ezzos’ own definition on page 52-53 in the GKGW manual.

1 Legalism creates prohibitions by elevating a method over biblical principle.

2 Whenever someone wants to lower the standard, he is the first to call those who keep the standard, legalists.

3 The legalists see all decisions in life as either black (immoral) or white (moral.) He or she acknowledges no gray areas.

4 The most notable aspect of a legalist is this: he rejects context. Considering context guards against legalism.

5 When there is no direct or indirect prohibition in Scripture, you have a “gray area.” To bind the believer based on the gray areas of life contradicts the Apostle Paul’s teaching to accept that “one man esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike. Let each man be fully convinced in his own mind.” (Rom. 14:15)

Throughout the Ezzos’ applications of parenting principles there are often great leaps between what a Scripture teaches in context and the application drawn. The Ezzos take a potentially good idea, and try to insure it with a biblical mandate which becomes a moral decision. The Ezzos take the commandment, “Thou Shalt Not Steal” (given to Moses at Mt. Sinai) as the Scriptural text and basis for returning a grocery store shopping cart to its original position after use. The Ezzos move from the command, “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” to an application that infers the violator (the one who doesn’t return the cart) is immoral, and unholy in the eyes of God.

In the manual GKGW, it says:

“You create these feelings in others each time you abandon your shopping cart. The context makes the act immoral.” (pg. 157, GKGW)

“When you are finished taking your groceries to the car, do you return your shopping cart to the appropriate place? Men and women who live by biblical ethics should not leave their shopping cart squeezed between two cars.” (pg. 156, GKGW)

The inference of not being holy for violating this shopping cart principle does not appear in the manual, but in the Ezzo’s video presentation. And even that can be confusing, because the Ezzos state that if there is a conflict between what is said in a conference and what appears in the manual, the manual is the final authority. But the power of influence of what the Ezzos teach lies in the tapes. For this reason, I will transcribe the portion of his teaching, word for word, in order to give you the full context of what was taught using the shopping cart illustration. As you read this transcript, you review the five things Ezzo defined as legalism, and ask does he violate his own teaching? Is the application elevated above the context? The legalist sees all things in black and white (moral and immoral.) Do the Ezzos make a moral issue out of a shopping cart? The legalist disregards context in making an application; do the Ezzos disregard this context, “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” in order to establish a parenting principle engulfing a shopping cart? The Ezzos support the idea that where there is no direct or indirect prohibition of Scripture then you have a gray area, which is okay. Is the parenting principle of returning a shopping cart a gray area or is it black and white (moral or immoral?) In order for it to qualify as a moral issue, it cannot have any exceptions.

Gary Ezzo speaking:

“We have a natural propensity to substitute our value system for the value system of other people. (Serious tone to the voice) We are going to put our value, (repeat) our value, on their property, and then we make a judgment with our own children. I usually demonstrate this by using the shopping cart analogy. . .ladies and gentlemen, the question you have to answer is how much value does a shopping cart have to you? Right!~I mean you know, the shopping cart that you go shopping with, that you put your groceries in, that you go out to your car with. Here’s a better question, how much value does that shopping cart have to its owner? That’s the legitimate question. How much value does that shopping cart have to its owner? Now ladies and gentlemen, when you go shopping you fill up your cart,. . . you take it out of the store, you take it up to the car, . . you unload your groceries. Listen very carefully,. . .what do you do with your cart? Yes, I hear, I hear, I hear the guilt (laughter from audience). What do you do with your cart? Do you, ladies and gentlemen leave your cart (serious tone in voice) right there?

No! because Christians don’t do that (sarcasm intended).

What do Christians do? (serious tone now) Christians who do not live in mediocrity,. . . Christians who live by a higher standard, (high pitched tone in voice). . .Christians who are other oriented, Christians who recognize the preciousness of others,. . . Christians who recognize the property values. These Christians take their shopping cart back to the front of the store. And then your kids say, “mommy, what are you doing, nobody else does that?” Because we are Christians and this is right, this is right (crescendo building). Yea!. . . this is right!. . . You guys know the experience, your dominion sensor goes off. You are driving around ladies, and you are looking,. . or gentlemen,. . you are looking for a parking spot; finally you find one; you see it,. . . it’s over there,. . you see a space between a couple of cars, and you begin to pull in and there’s 2 or 3 shopping carts there,. . and then you get upset. Now that’s all right, one of those are mine from last week (audience laughs). Yea, you get upset, your dominion sensor goes off. You begin to think, who would do something like this?. . . And then on a windy day, when the carts are pushed against your car. You think, doesn’t anyone have any consideration?

A question to you. . .? Is that you? (serious tone) Listen, ladies and gentlemen, I’ve worked this out in conjunction with the

Holy Spirit (hard to figure if Ezzo meant this, but laughter came from audience) The next time you go shopping,. . . the next time you go shopping (repeat), and you take your cart out to the side of the car, and you unload your groceries and when you begin to let go of that cart, thinking I’m going to leave it here, let someone else serve me. Ladies and gentlemen, see this face! My face is going to appear, if you leave that cart. (laughter) I will be your guilt, you can drive away, but my face is going to be right there. You are going to have to stop your car, go back and get that cart and put it back in front of that store. Ladies and gentlemen, I guarantee you, I will promise you... if you’ve never done this before,. . . this is going to be a new experience, a new standard for you, and legitimately so. Because your heart is going to be confirmed, your heart is going to be confirmed (repeat) to the fact that your heart has lived to the standard you have received according to a value system that sees the preciousness of others. You have not operated on your value system, you’ve operated on the value system that owns that cart. It’s thrilling to be able to do something morally beautiful. For no other reason other than, it’s right! Go ahead and try it, ladies and gentlemen. Do you know what taking your shopping cart back is? It’s ‘boot camp’ Christianity; taking your shopping cart back,. . . in fact,. . . in that moment. . . Get this!. . . I Peter 1:16 ‘Be ye holy for I am holy.’ You say, taking back a shopping car? How can that be holy? Because in that moment you have agreed with God, not only in your heart, but because of your actions”. (Transcript of Tape - 1993 4th edition)

So how did you feel, at the end of this interpretation? Does taking your shopping cart reflect one of the key commandments of God given to Moses? Or would taking the shopping cart home, keeping it for your own personal use, or selling it for profit be reflective of the commandment? The parenting principle of being respectful of others is good, but is does not carry with it a moral mandate that leaves you unholy and riddled with this kind of approach, and if you are going to use some of their suggestions, then please consider the context of Scripture they advocate. If you are not sure, ask your local pastor, elder, or established Bible teacher for help.

Examples Of Possible Legalistic Parenting Practices In The Ezzo Program

The following are 10 examples of the Ezzos’ parenting applications that can easily practiced legalistically. Most of these were drawn out of the character development lessons 8, 9, and 10.

1. Opening Statement: “Everything that we Tape 6, Lesson 9

teach is based on a moral model. All that we teach

in GKGW gives certain Bible ethics in

dealing with relationship.”

2. Mr. and Mrs. title application: calling parents Page 41 GKGW

by first name is dishonoring authority, a break

down of the commandment, “Honor thy mother

and father.”

3. Buffet Line Illustration: First in line at buffet Video Tape Session 8

restaurant; not honoring to elderly, not good

moral behavior, not biblically ethical, not honoring

to God.

4. The Interrupt Rule: “Don’t let them interrupt.” Video Tape Session 8

This is not a biblical principle but is a moral issue.

5. Family Witness: If you are not orderly with Session 8 Character Develop.

your children as with the interrupt rule, you hurt

your family witness. So if the interrupt rule is not in

place, the spread of the kingdom is damaged by

your family witness.

6. Shyness Example: Parents should not allow Video Tape Session 8

shyness as an excuse not to be courteous.

7. Respect for pianos: Parents enter Church Video Tape Session 8,

Sanctuary, banging on piano, running around. Character Develop.

“Where is their morality, where is their biblical

ethics?”

8. K-Mart Store: Someone interrupts line and Video Tape Session 8

asks question out of order! The dominion of Character Develop.

others rule is violated.

9. Party next door: Leaving junk on lawn after party Video Tape Session 8,

violates dominion of others, which is morally wrong 9, 10

10. “We believe the best evaluation of any parenting Page 20 GKGW

philosophy is found in the overall results.”

*End doesn’t justify means

Other Areas of Apparent Legalistic Application

Page 10 The heart of a child

Page 127 Allegiance

Page 140 Interrupt Rule

Page 143 Titles

Page 170 First Time Obedience

Page 214 Grace Issue

Page 281 Childishness

Page 301 Outward Appearances

Page 22 Order